So I was reminiscing today about the Verizon spokes guy, don't ask me why, I just was, when I had a startling realization. His character, whom I've always referred to as EmoGuy has become a complete sellout.
Remember when he first showed up? We would see him walking the streets stopping every 5 to 10 feet tenaciously asking the mystery person on the other end of the phone if they could still hear him. He was everywhere! He was unstoppable! He was, literally, one man on a mission to make sure that someone could always converse with him.
But what has he become? He is no longer a solitary figure, marching through the (urban) jungle focused on his mission. Now he's followed by an enormous group of lackeys and yes men who do all of his work for him. He's no longer constantly checking for good reception. He is essentially asked by a 2nd party if said group will have cell phone coverage, to which he often confers with his horde before answering in the positive.
Where is my solitary Hero? Where is my heroic Knight?
Buried, under huge piles of cash. My only reassuring thought is that he probably gets shitty reception down there.