It's hard to look at this blog and wonder, after so much time and so much change, how I can possibly pick up the pieces and go on. It seems so shallow to keep talking about entertainment culture now, and yet I don't need an outlet for which I can pour out my inner darkness. This isn't livejournal, and I have a Counselor.
I recently separated from my wife Erin. I moved out on the 3rd of June and have been living in housing meant for college students since then.
I'm really not sure what's going to happen with Erin and I. We have a plan for how we can re acclimate ourselves to each other and to our relationship over the coming months. The separation will last 4-6 months and we have been meeting with our respective Counselors individually and with all 4 of us. We have a plan in place. The scariest part is that I can't tell if Erin still wants me around at all. Some days I think she does, and others I don't think so at all. It's been difficult to know that I've wronged my wife in ways I never thought imaginable and just generally been a pretty poor husband.
So, here I sit. I thought for a moment that it might be interesting to violently change gears (ignoring the clutch altogether) and write about my new experiences living this new life I'm living now. I think that may be a bit too narrow and sad, so instead this may end up turning into a general thoughts kind of space. I hope that's ok with all 2 of you readers.
For right now, I think that's all that needs to be said.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I'm good at Rock Band
I had my mind blown on Sunday. I have rhythm.
Erin and I spent Easter with her whole family at her sister Shannon's house. Shannon has 3 boys who recieved Rock Band for Christmas. Now, I've always been slightly skeptical about rhythm games like this. I don't really care for rock music. I'm also not particularly dexterous or quick and my reaction time isn't what it needs to be in order to play these games successfully.
I was soon to be proven wrong.
I had always been pretty interested in the concept of the game. I mean, who wouldn't want to play a game like that with 3 other friends, cheering each other on and laughing at everyone's mistakes. There just seemed to be a lot of good cheer baked on into the game formula. Sure you can play it competitively, but you didn't have to. Straight away, the main reason I don't play games with others (I absolutely hate competition) vanishes. So I decided to pick it up and play with my 2 brother in laws.
It was fucking sweet. We weren't amazing but we certainly weren't bad. Granted we were playing on easy but except for Brent (Shannon's husband) we'd never played the game before. I started with the guitar and was really pleased with it. It far simpler than I had expected thanks to the games brilliant mapping of the notes. I had always been afraid that the notes you played on the instruments and the melody of the song wouldn't coincide very gracefully. I was totally wrong. It makes playing the songs feel very intuitive.
Then I tried the drums.
Holy crap. Much harder than the guitar, but not so hard I couldn't do it. So much fun though. Made me feel like I was actually playing an instrument. Just brilliant. If I had friends that came over to my house a lot I would actually consider dropping 180 dollars on the thing. It's that much fun.
Erin and I spent Easter with her whole family at her sister Shannon's house. Shannon has 3 boys who recieved Rock Band for Christmas. Now, I've always been slightly skeptical about rhythm games like this. I don't really care for rock music. I'm also not particularly dexterous or quick and my reaction time isn't what it needs to be in order to play these games successfully.
I was soon to be proven wrong.
I had always been pretty interested in the concept of the game. I mean, who wouldn't want to play a game like that with 3 other friends, cheering each other on and laughing at everyone's mistakes. There just seemed to be a lot of good cheer baked on into the game formula. Sure you can play it competitively, but you didn't have to. Straight away, the main reason I don't play games with others (I absolutely hate competition) vanishes. So I decided to pick it up and play with my 2 brother in laws.
It was fucking sweet. We weren't amazing but we certainly weren't bad. Granted we were playing on easy but except for Brent (Shannon's husband) we'd never played the game before. I started with the guitar and was really pleased with it. It far simpler than I had expected thanks to the games brilliant mapping of the notes. I had always been afraid that the notes you played on the instruments and the melody of the song wouldn't coincide very gracefully. I was totally wrong. It makes playing the songs feel very intuitive.
Then I tried the drums.
Holy crap. Much harder than the guitar, but not so hard I couldn't do it. So much fun though. Made me feel like I was actually playing an instrument. Just brilliant. If I had friends that came over to my house a lot I would actually consider dropping 180 dollars on the thing. It's that much fun.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Why are Goths so fucking Goth?
Case in point
I've been listening to this band for the past week or so now. It's really good music. Really good.
What does this band have to do with my question? Read these song lyrics.
Clap your hands you mother fuckers
Buy the record
Sing along
The moment that you dig this song I will become your newborn christ.
Clap your hands you mother fuckers
Buy the record
Sing along
I'm coming now, it won't be long before I am your antichrist.
The song is entitled Christ.
What the fuck does that even mean?
Now I'm not necessarily averse to inflammatory religious lyrics, but that just doesn't even make any sense. It's not the only instance on the disc either. There's all sorts of anti-Christianity contained therein, often accompanied by erotic imagery and implications.
Why? Why is it necessary?
:Wumpscut: is another case. He throws anti Jesus imagery and lyrics around like it's no tomorrow often to the songs detraction.
I admit the phenomenon is not as prevalent in the industrial music circuit, but being as industrial and goth music are akin to kissin' cousins it's still there.
So why the fuck are goths just so fucking satanic? What's the point? There's a darkness to life that doesn't need a Satan. We can all be emo, weird and dark without a physical manifestation of evil. And come on, if there is a such a manifestation, why are they all running to embrace it. Are they just so anxious to be different and "weird" that they'll latch on to anything the "mainstream" deems disgusting and abnormal?
I don't know. I just wish that some artists could divorce their Gothiness from their artistry because sometimes it just pulls them down.
I've been listening to this band for the past week or so now. It's really good music. Really good.
What does this band have to do with my question? Read these song lyrics.
Clap your hands you mother fuckers
Buy the record
Sing along
The moment that you dig this song I will become your newborn christ.
Clap your hands you mother fuckers
Buy the record
Sing along
I'm coming now, it won't be long before I am your antichrist.
The song is entitled Christ.
What the fuck does that even mean?
Now I'm not necessarily averse to inflammatory religious lyrics, but that just doesn't even make any sense. It's not the only instance on the disc either. There's all sorts of anti-Christianity contained therein, often accompanied by erotic imagery and implications.
Why? Why is it necessary?
:Wumpscut: is another case. He throws anti Jesus imagery and lyrics around like it's no tomorrow often to the songs detraction.
I admit the phenomenon is not as prevalent in the industrial music circuit, but being as industrial and goth music are akin to kissin' cousins it's still there.
So why the fuck are goths just so fucking satanic? What's the point? There's a darkness to life that doesn't need a Satan. We can all be emo, weird and dark without a physical manifestation of evil. And come on, if there is a such a manifestation, why are they all running to embrace it. Are they just so anxious to be different and "weird" that they'll latch on to anything the "mainstream" deems disgusting and abnormal?
I don't know. I just wish that some artists could divorce their Gothiness from their artistry because sometimes it just pulls them down.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Absolve me
Confessions time. I have risen to a new height of nerd-dom. I never really saw it coming, and I can say with assurance that the ascension brings with it a sense of pride. I've finished the Silmarillion and I loved every minute of it.
I tried to read it years ago when I was still in high school and just couldn't do it. I had just finished The Lord of the Rings and was looking for some more Middle Earth action. I told my dad that I was going to give it a shot, and I remember him making this strange face. A kind of "why would you do that to yourself?" look. He had tried to read it when he was younger and just couldn't get into it. I was soon to understand why.
It was wordy to be nigh incomprehensible. Places and names constantly being fired at the reader. It felt like Tolkien was using a sort of sink or swim methodology in his writing. I didn't get far. I was expecting a more coherent experience like from LotR or The Hobbit. The timing just wasn't right.
About a year ago the Tolkien empire released the latest story entitled The Children of Hurin. Erin and I picked it up, being huge fans of LotR (book and film series). I was the one to read it first. I found it a bit hard to follow, the writing being much like what I remember from The Silmarillion, but there was something engaging enough to keep me going. Most importantly though, it proved to me that I could get over the hump of Tolkien's writing.
Last month I suddenly became very interested in reading/learning about the origins of Middle Earth and what is referred to as "The First Age." I realized that one of the reasons Children of Hurin may have been so difficult to read was because I had no context about the world in which the tale took place. What if I gave acquiring that context a shot?
So I did.
I was enthralled. Yes it's difficult to follow. Yes Tolkien throws out landmarks, cities and names like used Kleenex, but if you can just get past all that you ascend into a rich world filled with detail. A truly epic completely fleshed out history of the world from it's inception to creation to rise to fall to rise again and so on. I never imagined I would like it as much as I did. I'm considering re-reading Children of Hurin to see what else I can get from that tale.
Yes, I am a huge nerd. I guess I'm ok with that.
On a completely different note, I stumbled upon a series of youtube videos by a group called Lasagna Cat. I'm not going to explain it, because the revelation is part of the joy, so just watch the video below and if you want more then all I can say is "Google is your friend."
I tried to read it years ago when I was still in high school and just couldn't do it. I had just finished The Lord of the Rings and was looking for some more Middle Earth action. I told my dad that I was going to give it a shot, and I remember him making this strange face. A kind of "why would you do that to yourself?" look. He had tried to read it when he was younger and just couldn't get into it. I was soon to understand why.
It was wordy to be nigh incomprehensible. Places and names constantly being fired at the reader. It felt like Tolkien was using a sort of sink or swim methodology in his writing. I didn't get far. I was expecting a more coherent experience like from LotR or The Hobbit. The timing just wasn't right.
About a year ago the Tolkien empire released the latest story entitled The Children of Hurin. Erin and I picked it up, being huge fans of LotR (book and film series). I was the one to read it first. I found it a bit hard to follow, the writing being much like what I remember from The Silmarillion, but there was something engaging enough to keep me going. Most importantly though, it proved to me that I could get over the hump of Tolkien's writing.
Last month I suddenly became very interested in reading/learning about the origins of Middle Earth and what is referred to as "The First Age." I realized that one of the reasons Children of Hurin may have been so difficult to read was because I had no context about the world in which the tale took place. What if I gave acquiring that context a shot?
So I did.
I was enthralled. Yes it's difficult to follow. Yes Tolkien throws out landmarks, cities and names like used Kleenex, but if you can just get past all that you ascend into a rich world filled with detail. A truly epic completely fleshed out history of the world from it's inception to creation to rise to fall to rise again and so on. I never imagined I would like it as much as I did. I'm considering re-reading Children of Hurin to see what else I can get from that tale.
Yes, I am a huge nerd. I guess I'm ok with that.
On a completely different note, I stumbled upon a series of youtube videos by a group called Lasagna Cat. I'm not going to explain it, because the revelation is part of the joy, so just watch the video below and if you want more then all I can say is "Google is your friend."
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Final moments
I've been thinking about endings lately. Actually, this gem of a thread over at NeoGaf got me thinking about them. To sum up, the poster lambasts the Cohen Brothers for an abrupt ending to their film. If you haven't seen the film (which, if this is the case you should run to the theater immediately) the situation is comporable to the Director's Cut of Blade Runner. Ambiguity left up to the interpretation of the audience. Use this as a refrence if needed.
Now I, along with many other film snobs, prefer Blade Runner's Director's Cut as the film allows us to draw our own conclusions about the story and themes of the film. At it's base it forces us to think analytically about the film and even encourages us to view the film again to flesh out whatever thoughts we have.
Before I get too far, I suppose that I must say that there is something to be said for the original cut of Blade Runner along with every other film which spells out it's themes and narriative as bluntly as possible. This is the form of cinema which allows us to just sit back and enjoy a good distraction. Sometimes we just want to shut off the brain and be entertained. The problem with films like this is that they don't have much persistance. They don't generally have any kind of lasting impact on our thoughts. Sure I loved watching John McClain blow the shit out of the bad guys in Die Hard, but I didn't find myself thinking differently about the world or any statements the film may have had embedded within it.
One of my favorite endings of all time is in the film Children of Men. Not only was it a fantastic "what if" look at a society without children, but the ending said everything it needed to say with 3 words and some sound effects. The movie follows Theo as he attempts to get the only pregnant woman in the world to safety. In the end he dies having sucessfully protected the woman and delivering her to an organization which will protect her. Upon his death the screen goes dark, the film title is displayed across the screen and we hear a child laughing. The sound grows as more and more children begin to laugh until it becomes a cacophany of sound which ends abruptly. Roll credits.
What's so awesome about that ending is that it takes some thought to decipher. I recall hearing groans of disappointment when I saw the film in the theaters. Even my wife didn't really understand it until I shared my thoughts with her. The story which ended when Theo died. We are then given the happiest ending we can get from the wholly dystopian world in the film. One child laughing happily joined by other children and then more children signifying the repopulation of the human race. That was it. That was all we as an audience needed to know.
No Country for Old Men is very similar, though I believe it may be more pregnant with meaning than Children of Men. Most importantly it made me think. It made me think of how the world of the film would continue after the credits had ended. It made me think of why the Cohen Brothers and, initially, Cormac McCarthy chose to end their story in such a way and what I as an audience member should glean from that choice.
The best forms of art are the forms that make us think and question. Endings are so important because its the final experience of that art. It's the most prominant and lasting thing we experience in art. It's why I prefer endings presented in the forms of questions. Ending that make me wonder at its own purpose, and in that wonder bring me back into the world of film and remember and question things from it's main body.
Now go watch No Country for Old Men. And go read Cormac McCarthy.
Now I, along with many other film snobs, prefer Blade Runner's Director's Cut as the film allows us to draw our own conclusions about the story and themes of the film. At it's base it forces us to think analytically about the film and even encourages us to view the film again to flesh out whatever thoughts we have.
Before I get too far, I suppose that I must say that there is something to be said for the original cut of Blade Runner along with every other film which spells out it's themes and narriative as bluntly as possible. This is the form of cinema which allows us to just sit back and enjoy a good distraction. Sometimes we just want to shut off the brain and be entertained. The problem with films like this is that they don't have much persistance. They don't generally have any kind of lasting impact on our thoughts. Sure I loved watching John McClain blow the shit out of the bad guys in Die Hard, but I didn't find myself thinking differently about the world or any statements the film may have had embedded within it.
One of my favorite endings of all time is in the film Children of Men. Not only was it a fantastic "what if" look at a society without children, but the ending said everything it needed to say with 3 words and some sound effects. The movie follows Theo as he attempts to get the only pregnant woman in the world to safety. In the end he dies having sucessfully protected the woman and delivering her to an organization which will protect her. Upon his death the screen goes dark, the film title is displayed across the screen and we hear a child laughing. The sound grows as more and more children begin to laugh until it becomes a cacophany of sound which ends abruptly. Roll credits.
What's so awesome about that ending is that it takes some thought to decipher. I recall hearing groans of disappointment when I saw the film in the theaters. Even my wife didn't really understand it until I shared my thoughts with her. The story which ended when Theo died. We are then given the happiest ending we can get from the wholly dystopian world in the film. One child laughing happily joined by other children and then more children signifying the repopulation of the human race. That was it. That was all we as an audience needed to know.
No Country for Old Men is very similar, though I believe it may be more pregnant with meaning than Children of Men. Most importantly it made me think. It made me think of how the world of the film would continue after the credits had ended. It made me think of why the Cohen Brothers and, initially, Cormac McCarthy chose to end their story in such a way and what I as an audience member should glean from that choice.
The best forms of art are the forms that make us think and question. Endings are so important because its the final experience of that art. It's the most prominant and lasting thing we experience in art. It's why I prefer endings presented in the forms of questions. Ending that make me wonder at its own purpose, and in that wonder bring me back into the world of film and remember and question things from it's main body.
Now go watch No Country for Old Men. And go read Cormac McCarthy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
